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Eyes on mePeople are watching every move that I make.
I must blindly obey for much is at stake.
Watched and controlled like a puppet on strings.
Of course, they don't know how it hurts and it stings.
Everyone's eyes are directed at me.
Just like a show for everyone to see.
Watched with pre-caution and told to be "good".
They say it's because I should act like I should.
I play the act, my part, take my place
And get ready for the crowd that I know I must face.
Some cheer, some scorn, some shed bitter tears.
But they'll never know my secret fears.
I don't know why this thing has to be.
But all I know is that their eyes are on me.
GrandmaFor my grandmother
"I love you to the moon and back"
I remember slowly rocking in her rocking chair.
While I sit on her knees and she brushes my hair.
She wasn't the best but she was mine.
How I wish I could turn back the hands of time.
Now, I enter the room filled with sounding cries.
People all around her, everyone asking "Why?"
And I know I have to be strong and hide all my fears.
I have to be brave and hide all my tears.
She was a unique person in her own little way.
And seeing her like this, I don't know what to say.
She calls me to her side and I immediately come.
She tells me "Don't cry darling, I've almost won"
"The battle is hard but it's coming to an end"
"Darling don't be sad we'll be together again"
I see she's trying her best to fight.
I doubt though that she'll be alright.
The doctor says that all hope is gone.
We should just give up for nothing can be done.
I, on the other hand, continue to wait
And leave whatever happens to the hands of fate.
Even though I k
NumbWhat is this feeling?
I don't understand.
I want to explain
But I don't think I can.
Is it really true?
Am I turning this numb?
It just can't be!
I must feel some!
Why is this happening?
Why can't I feel?
Is this all just a dream
Or is all of this real?
Someone please tell me.
Please help me feel.
I'm so tired of feeling numb.
I just wanna heal.
The pain, the sorrow,
The joy, the tears.
Yes! I want all of them!
Even all the fears!
I'm so wanting,
Longing to feel again.
This curse is so haunting,
It's like a dead end.
So, if I were you,
Be glad you can feel.
Be thankful you're not numb.
At least you are real.
Cheer up!I know right now you have a care
And you've done all you can to bare.
But things will work out so cheer up.
So, read this poem and fill that cup.
Don't just sit on that lonely chair,
Try to go out and smell the air.
It won't do any good to mope.
So, don't give up on love and hope.
Cheer up! Cheer up! Oh, soul so dear.
Cheer up and let go of your fears.
Don't fret for it will do no good.
So, stand up like you really should.
See all the reasons you should smile?
Be patient and just wait a while.
I'm sure all will work out somehow.
Make the most of your time right now.
Things will work for you in the end.
And keep in mind, you have a friend.
Wide AwakeI'm wide awake.
I can't believe that I
Let you control my life,
I didn't even fight.
I'm wide awake.
How could I have been so blind?
I'm wide awake.
And now I'm letting go.
Now I really know
I shouldn't be this low.
I'm wide awake.
I'm gonna really say good-bye.
I shouldn't have done
What I have done.
I have to accept you're finally gone.
I know that it hurts
And it's so bitter-sweet.
But you let me fall on the concrete.
You left me here die
But I'm now I'm letting you go .
Your love was just a lie.
Now I know what I know.
I'm saying my good-bye.
I just reaped what I sow.
And so this is this the end.
I'm gonna write again.
ClockworkHe moves as he pleases
Yet few understand
That the master of time
Is in the plam their hands.
Clockwork as old as the world we are in,
Thus, the tale of clockwork begins.
Everyone knows him
But few really do.
So tell me, what is old clockwork to you?
Do you take him for granted?
Do you spend him with care?
Do you know where you are old clockwork is there?
Bet you don't even know that he really exists.
Anyway, I can't blame you since clockwork is swift.
He will not wait for you
For he has his own pace.
If you don't watch for him,
You will not find a trace.
So, tell me how you spend old clockwork at all.
Do you spend him with sense
Or with another useless call?
Do you use him to have a future
Or to play useless games.
You're probably getting the picture
With a little bit of pain.
Anyway, think back, did you use clockwork well
Or maybe you come to school at the ring of the bell?
Did you sleep late at night,
Knowing school is tomorrow,
Got scolded then got mad at your very own sorrow
I'd rather be aloneI enter the room all eyes on me.
Side way glances as if I don't see.
I walk down the aisle and I take my seat.
This is where I'm gonna be for five days this week.
I can feel their hate from across the hall.
Those people they hate me and wish I would fall.
Unwanted is what they have always shown.
And honestly, I would rather be alone.
They tease me with their words as if it don't hurt.
They treat me as if I'm disgusting and dirt.
And sometimes I would just let it slide.
I would try to contain the feelings I hide.
I try to do my best but I really just fail.
And spectators would make up a new winding tale,
Of how my bad attitude is set into stone
But will never know I'd rather be alone.
Maybe I have done something out of range.
But I'm trying my best to be nice and change.
They say that will never for they've never known,
That I often sit and think "I'd rather be alone".
Instead of being teased an being rejected,
Instead being humiliated in public and subjected.
In order that I may no lon
I can never sayI picked it up, all the pieces of my broken heart.
The heart he took advantage of and tore it all apart.
And now here you are standing so true,
Asking if my heart could belong to you.
I don't want to hurt you.
I don't want to make you hate me.
I don't know what to do
Because you ask what can never be.
I'm sorry but you can never have my heart.
I'm sorry but I don't want to get torn apart.
I'm sorry if I'm still caught up in yesterday.
I'm sorry I had to come and take your heart away.
I didn't want things to end the way they did
And if I still believed in love
You are the one I'd spend my life with.
But I can't never say it to you.
No, I can never say that I love you too.
If my heart was made of glassI saw a shooting star and made a wish.
You ask me what it was but I gave you a kiss.
I asked you what you wished for and you said what was true.
You asked me to make a poem for you.
You told me to focus and don't lose sight
To do it with feelings, to write with all my might.
I agreed to your terms and went work.
And this is what I have given birth:
If my heart was made of glass it would be shattered in a million pieces,
Broken and cracked from your bitter-sweet kisses.
If my heart was made of glass it would be fragile but clear,
Breaking little by little because you are here.
If my heart was made of glass then it would be hard but very smooth,
Just like your sugar-coated words that you can always prove.
If my heart was made of glass you'd be harder to love-
The love that you gave me and was sent from above.
If my heart was made of glass would you even hear it break?
Would you hear me when I scream and see me when I fake?
If my heart was made of glass would you treasure it in yours?
If I blinkA blink ago I was sitting on the playground
My sunny red hair pulled into two little pigtails
With the ribbons I had begged my mother to tie into my hair
Because I didn't know how to tie a bow yet
A blink ago I was hiding behind my mother's leg
My first time experiencing something new
A brand new world, a school of new people
But it was then, when I peeked around her knee
When my big brown eyes caught sight of my first love
A blink ago I was on the playground again
When my first love told me that he liked me
I ran away screaming "Gross!"
Because I still believed boys had cooties
A blink ago
he held my hand for the first time
And a blink later
he kissed me cheek
A blink ago I was in a hallway
Trying not to be trampled by the giants around me
Suddenly aware I was nothing but a speck
Aware that everyone wasn't each other's best friend
A blink ago I walked the hall with my first boyfriend
Followed by the curses of the witches and dragons behind us
Gripping to that
I love you.
I love you with all my heart and soul.
I love you, but you don't love me.
It used to be us.
The two of us in sync through heart and mind.
It used to be us, loving each other.
Every second of every day I remember you.
I see you in my memories and dreams.
Every second I remember what we used to be, and what we are no longer.
Each day I wake up and for a moment still forget you're gone.
I think about all we did, and how great it felt.
Each day I had been with you was real.
I was wrong to go so fast.
I forgot who I was, and I left you at a time I needed to be near you more than ever.
I was wrong to let you slip through my fingers.
But you're not. Not anymore.
You're gone like a leaf on the wind.
If I hadn't been so stupid maybe you would still be here.
But you'll never be here.
You'll never come back.
You'll never love me again.
Distant Memories Of A Love Done Gone .They say it's difficult to love someone
When you can't even love yourself.
But I loved you nonetheless,
The problem was I didn't know when to stop.
You kept sending me mixed signs
Making me dizzy until I
Much less right
When our world started crumbling down and
T e a r i n g at the seams
It was so easy for you to let it fall apart.
But I, knowing no other kind of love,
desperately clung to the remaining bits,
Trying to put them back together.
Yet the pieces changed too much, too quickly,
They kept growing and
growing a p a r t,
until your world was only yours
and mine a hollow echo of its past.
Looking back now, it seems like it
All happened in a different life,
With some other you, some other me,
And the lips kissing my own were just a dream.
Unconditional loveWill you love me when I no longer have arms to cradle you in?
Or when I no longer have lips to kiss you?
When my heart stops beating and my lungs begin to empty
Will you shed a tear for me?
Will you love me when I no longer have eyes to see you with?
Or when I no longer have ears to hear you cry?
When my mouth refuses to utter as single word, and I can't say I love you
Will you still know that I do?
Will you love me on the rainy day when I rest in peace?
Or in the proceeding future where I am no longer there?
Will you move on and find someone else to love?
Will you know that I am content with that?
Memories of the PastMemories of the Past
Do you remember the blue summer sky?
Free of clouds and full of dreams
Our lives were so wonderful
All day long together with friends free of all worries
Do you remember the bikes that we used to ride?
I remember riding till the very end of the sunlight
All those times we fall and then got back up again
I remember all of it all the fun that was to be together
Do you remember the nights?
Nights full of games of hide and seek
And the fireflies were the only thing that shined in the dark
Also the sound of the crickets that echoes till the dawn
I remember all of that with sorrow in my heart
The way we were young and carefree
All of those memories now rest in our heads or in pictures
But I shall never forget about them
Nor will you forget about our time of joy
You remember it right?
The time when we were kids of the province
When we didn't have all those shiny technology
When we used sticks as a sort of fun
And to tell you the truth it was more fun back then than now
HateI hate you
because I love you
I hate you
because you were my friend
I hate you
because I trusted you
I hate you
because you left
I hate myself
For letting you go
What Do You DoCould I pour out my heart,
Or would you not listen,
As I make my words into art,
Or ignore me as my tears glisten,
Could I paint you a picture,
Full of colors so bright,
That you might consider,
And let your heart take flight,
Could I write you a story,
Full of a love so sweet,
To ease all your worry,
And make your heart skip a beat,
What could I do to make you see,
How should I describe this feeling,
How do I show you that I'm only me,
Why do I prevent my heart from healing?
PoemsThe Little Things
A touch on the arm
One look into your beautiful, blue-green eyes
All I have
I keep in my mind
Replaying over and over
My playlist of you
Of all the little things
The only ones I have
For what good
Is money or possessions
When the one you love
Will never be yours?
When you have to imagine
How it would feel
For your lips to meet?
I'd never tell you
How much I love to hear you speak
How many times I've listened to you
Watched you from across the room
Or how many times I've feared
That you'd realize it
And you can never find out
That my eyes have never seen someone
The way they see you
That my heart has never soared so high
As it did when you touched me
Or that each second I realize more and more
I Should Tell You
And over in my mind
Do you notice how I look at you?
Do you care?
Beautiful, beautiful wisdom drips from your every word
Craving your approval every second
Grandma 2For my grandmother
"I love you to the moon and back"
Tears are falling,
Hearts are aching,
Cries echo around the ICU.
Eyes are red,
Hands are shaking
Yet there's nothing I can do about it.
There she lies with all her pain.
But I just watch and stare at her.
Useless, I'm completely useless
Yet she struggles to carry her burden alone.
If only I could help I would.
She doesn't speak anymore.
She barely even moves.
Her eyes are always closed
As if she's in a comma.
I miss her yelling at me...
Even though it hurts.
But nothing is more painful than seeing her suffer.
She's already been through a lot.
She doesn't need more pain.
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Endorell-Taelos is very well known within the community for her selfless giving and gracious community spirit. Since joining DeviantART over seven years ago, Alicia has continued to make a positive impact on many deviants. Her helpful and thoughtful approach was one of her finest attributes when serving as a Community Volunteer, and this has continued throughout the many contests which Alicia provides on a regular basis. As we approach our Birthday celebrations, we can't... Read More